He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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