Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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