How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
