How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize