The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
