Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
do herpes really smell.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Holy shit dude........stairs
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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