Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
