Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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