i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
