How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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