The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
and she was petting her beer can
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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