but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
