How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
