You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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