i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
