You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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