he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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