At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
