Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize