I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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