Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
