you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
