If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
