This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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