$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
