Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
