oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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