What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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