wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
