Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
