Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
