and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
