oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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