Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
