Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
