Kiss
Puke
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The Olympian is in my bed
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
