i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I stole a fireplace last night.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
