when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
