I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
