Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
