What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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