return my video game
This girl is more easily done than said...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
