ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
