how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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