He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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