god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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