We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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