Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Let's get the cat blown out
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
