He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
