Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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