atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
