i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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